Has anyone ever criticized your work? How does it feel?
What to do with the fear and how to keep creating even if people critique and reject your art?
Following your dream, one day you will face the critique and rejection.
When you like to do stuff or you aspire to something higher, then you are not only put an effort into your work, into your art, into your dream, often you put yourself there.
Doing things, which look unusual for people, and trying to succeed you are standing out from the crowd.
Not everyone will understand that. Once it goes wrong people start to criticize and judge you. It hurts. A lot.
In such moments, you want to leave everything for a while or even more put behind and go back to the ‘normal life’.
However, if you really want to make your dreams come true, the fear, judging, and misunderstanding are inevitable.
In a book Facing Down Rejection and Criticism on the Road to Success the author, Mark McGuinness shows how to overcome the fear, rejection and criticism on the way to your dream.
What to do with the fear
When you dream big, the fear will come. Also, the more challenging and bigger a goal then greater the fear become.
Think about how scary are fascinating things like quitting your job, starting a business, public speaking, getting married, writing a book, having an exhibition, etc.
From the beginning, it makes you exciting. You see new opportunities, new life and yourself in a hall of fame.
However, once you move forward to your dream and the first excitement goes down, the fear comes.
The doubt if you doing it right, or the thought that it will not work, then you stop following your dream. It’s getting even worst when friends and family don’t understand what you are doing.
In fact, the fear is getting less when you face it and accept it. It is given to us not to run away, but for getting ready to meet those struggles.
Tim Ferris in his book 4 Hours Workweek suggest asking yourself a question:
What is the worst thing can happen to me if I do that?
Usually, the worst scenario isn’t so scary when you imagine that.
What to do with the critique
Has anybody ever told you “Don’t worry about that”?
Sounds so simple, but it doesn’t help you. Putting yourself into the project or your dream you make it a part of yourself. That’s why every time when someone critiques your work, it feels like he or she critique you.
It’s good that you do your work with the soul. It means that it’s important for you. However, your work isn’t you.
There are critiques, which you can pay attention to and those, which you can just ignore.
Listen to people who are the experts in what they do, who know about the subject of your work and can tell where you made a mistake and how you can make it better.[Tweet “Stop paying attention to people who understand nothing in what you are doing.”]
Next time when someone will critique your work, ask yourself: is it useful? If ‘yes’ – improve. If ‘no’ – pass it.
What to do with the rejection
Those who achieved what they wanted were rejected a lot of times. Much more than your friends and neighbors.
The best you can do when you face it – get used to that.
For example, the fear of the public speaking is on the top around the world. Some people equal it to the fear of death.
The truth is until you start speaking you can’t become a good speaker.
Just start. Somehow. As you can. Get feedbacks and critiques (don’t expect you will avoid it). Improve. More forward.
Be ready for the judgment. Think about the worst-case scenario.
Here is an advice from Brian Tracy one of the world’s top professional speakers:
“What if my audience hates my speech? What if they boo me off stage?” Try to eliminate all of your fears of rejection. The audience is there to listen to you for a reason.
Or in your progress how about to collect those ‘no’s’. You never know who will say yes:
A friend recently challenged me to collect ‘no’s’. What I mean is, I generally like to play things safe. But I’ve learned you can’t grow without trying and the inevitable rejection that comes with that. Whether it’s reaching out to a new magazine, client, model agency don’t be afraid to ask as you never know who might say yes and where it could lead you.
A fashion photographer Emily Soto for fstoppers.com
The more you do things over and over again the less discomfort you feel.
[Tweet “It doesn’t matter how many times you fall… What matters is how many times you stand up.”]
- When you face the fear, criticism or rejection, find the time to sit and analyze what happened and why.
- Take 48 hours to “cry” about what didn’t work.
- Imagine what could happen if everything would work and your dream came true. How good would be the changes?
- Look at your current situation again and ask yourself: does it worth it to keep working?
If ‘no’, let it go.
But if ‘yes’, there is always an opportunity to take the next step.
At early stages of your project, try don’t compare yourself to those who worked on the similar things already for many years. It’s not equal. Instead of that, pay attention to each step and the progress you have. No matter how small it is.
This book will teach you how to develop the flexibility, necessary to cope with rejection and criticism and to achieve success in the chosen way.
Mark McGuinness will show you how to improve your ability to overcome disappointment, stand up after the failures and keep following your goals.
Get a book on Amazon: “Facing Down Rejection and Criticism on the Road to Success”
What are the fears you have holding you back? How do you deal with them? Let me know in the comments below.
Marina Barayeva is an international speaker and coach who helps women entrepreneurs become recognized experts and confidently sell their services. She is also a TEDx speaker, has presented to audiences in Asia and North America, and has been featured in such media as ArtPeople, CCTV, China Radio International, and others.
Great post, Marina! Thanks so much for linking back to my blog.
Thank you for checking it out, Brent. Appreciate your sharing!